If you’re not sure how to tell a friend that you are bisexual & lesbian and interested in her, either as girlfriends or simply friends with benefits, try these simple steps.

1. Make sure that you and the girl in question are truly really good friends, and would be comfortable in this type of situation. You don’t want your best friend to flip out on you, that would be bad.

2. Use touch to take a “temperature reading.“ If you notice that she goes out of her way to touch you, even just on the shoulder, arm, etc., stand closer to you than normal, or other clues, you can get a “read” on the way she feels. If the level and type of touching she does to you seems normal and friendly, then you try touching her, just let your hand linger on her arm a little longer, or sling your arm around the lower part of her back. If she looks up at you with a smile, or snuggles closer, that’s a good sign that she may be at least subconsciously interested.

3.Question her in private. She will most likely not be honest in front of people if she isn’t “out” or isn’t sure how much experimenting she might like to do. Besides, it’s nobody’s business but yours.

4.Divert the topic to a public personality. Instead of just openly flirting with a girl that you are not sure has the same sexual preference that you do, try discussing bisexual people in the media or whom you know from work or school. Observe her opinion on said bisexual(s).

5.Make a move. Once you are sure that she is also lesbian/bisexual or bi-curious, invite her to spend time with you, alone some day/night.